Jumat, 27 Februari 2009

1,2, 3 uh ah

1, 2, 3 uh
(theyjokeyard.com)

Hello - Biarkan berlalu
One night these two midget brothers walk into a bar and one says "Man I'm tired of screwing midget girls lets screw real women." So the other guy agreed.

5 minutes later two blonde's walk into the bar and sit by the two midgets.

So the four of them get talking and the midgets ask if they want to come to there hotel rooms and stay the night and have sex.

So the two blonde's decide to go.

In the first room the blonde and the midget were getting it on when the midget says "Oh baby, I'm sorry this has never happened before, but I can't get hard"

So they give up and lay down to go asleep. But through the wall from the second room they hear "1, 2, 3 uh 1, 2, 3 uh", which keeps up all night long.

So the next day after the blonde's leave the brothers meet each other again and discuss how there night went.

The first midget says "Oh, my night was terrible. I just couldn't get hard."

The second midget replies "Mine was worse than that"

"What do you mean" said the first guy. "I heard you going "1, 2, 3 uh all night long".

To which the second guy replies "Yeah! I couldn't get on the damn bed"

Funny Short Story A Young Man

A young Man
(theyjokeryard.com)

Bre - Bimbang
A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms.

The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants.

"Well," he said, "I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight's "the" night. We're having dinner with her parents, and then we're going out. And I've got a feeling I'm gonna get lucky after that."

"Once she's had me, she'll want me all the time, so you'd better give me the 12 pack."

The young man makes his purchase and leaves.

Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents. He asks if he might give the blessing and they agree. He begins the prayer, but continues praying for several minutes.

The girl leans over to him and says, "You never told me that you were such a religious person."

The boy leans over to her and whispers, "You never told me that your father is a pharmacist."

A Story About Names

A story about names
(kejut.com)

Letto - Hold in my heart
What's in a name ("nama" in Indonesian)? That was what Shakespeare said. The term Nama here does not mean the tribe Nama, a tribe in the South of Africa, name is a term that is used to call among the human beings to differentiate them from the others. Name shows the real identity of a person, from where s/he is from, what is his/her background, what is his/her social status, etc.

Soon after a baby is born on the world, his/her parents look for a name for their children. Usually the chosen names are good, names that have impressive meaning, although there are some that only follows the tradition by choosing names that is commonly used in that area, or possibly be named exactly the same as the father's name, like the current United States president.

When I was a child, names that were commonly used were like: Natalia, Andi, Monika, Andre, etc. Which were names that sounded like Western names. There were also names that sounded like Indonesian people's names like: Agung, Dimas, Agus, Hendrawan, and also my own name (Hadi), a name that has Indonesian characteristics. Some time ago, when there was an event, and all people who joined were asked what food they want, or if there are some restrictions. I just chose one of the choices that were provided. Then the other party sent an email back, asking, "Are you a Moslem? Do you need halal food?" Abruptly I answered, "No, I'm not. I can eat any food." It turned out that my name sounds like a Moslem, isn't it. No wonder, the Singapore Idol last time had a name called Hady Mirza.

When I was in secondary school there were my friends using Moslem names like: Choirul Anam, Muhaimin, Masruchin, even there was one who had Isa (Jesus) as his name! When I was in high school I noticed that many of my friends had Western names, it is ununsual to see that someone still uses Chinese name. There is one thing that was quite interesting, that the Western names used are mostly English names, like Stephanie or the variants Stefani, Stefanie, and then Jimmy, Melissa, Adrian, Aileen, Alan, Alex, Annice, Anthony, Ronald, Christine, and so on and so on that if I were to continue it would not finish. The ones who have names like that may have a same name but actually different individuals. Even so, there are a lot of English names where no Indonesians ever used them as long as I know, like: George, Ashlee, Archibald, Cameron, Kyle, Chuck, Montgomery, Murphy, Oswald, etc. Other that that I noticed that not many used names other than English names, although there are several, like: Imelda, Fernando, Alfredo, Anton, Ferdinand, Elvira, Ines, Hanna.

There are also many who like to use Christian names, no matter whether they are have Christian as their religion. There are ones whose name are Christin but they are not Christian. Some of the others uses names in the Bible, prophets, or names of Saints or names of church fathers. Names in Bible like (Indonesian version): Abednego, Petrus, Yusuf, Yosua, Yahya (Yohanes), Maria, Tirza, Hezron, Yosafat, and the English version of the names like: Michael, Matthew, John or Johnie, Peter, James. Names of Saints like: Valentina, Agustinus, Xaverius. Or famous people of the church like Polikarpus.

There are some who use gods' names. For example Diana (Hunting Goddess of the Romes, equivalent to Artemis in Greece), Flora (goddess of flower), Luna (moon goddess), Saraswati (wisdom goddess), Wisnu (carer god), Indra (god of weather and lord of Svargaloka in Hinduism), Surya (god of sun).

There is one occasion when I introduced myself to a Vietnamese, after I mentioned my name, he asked "What is your western name?" I became confused, my name is only this one, except if he asked what is my Chinese name, which I have one. It turned out that because there are a lot of Indonesians that use Western names, he thought that if an Indonesian's name was not a Western name, he actually had a Western name.

What I am questioning is why are there so many people that use English names, although Western people do not consist of only English people, there are some other nations with different cultures. If we notice, Filipinos and East Timor people mostly use non-English names, like: Domingos, Amando, Filipe, Ramos, etc. In fact there is a lot, you know, non-English names that have not been used like Boris, Vladimir, Jaroslav, Gustav, Ulrike, Schmidt, Konrad, Petersohn, Wolfgang, Giuliano, Annetta, Manuela, and so on, and so on.

I see the declining of Javanese people who use typical Javanese names. The name of villagers were taken from the day name such as: Rebo, Kliwon, Wage (like Indonesian Anthem's componist's name), then Dhingklik (small chair), Gudel (calf). And the names such as Poniman, Wakidi, Katemo, Mukinem, Pariyem... are not common anymore, especially in cities. It's very uncommon for kids to have such names. Most of them use considered better names such as Rahayu, Ika, Retno, Sinta, Bambang, or the names that start with Su- like Suharto, Sukarno, Susilo or using Western name such as Randy, Ivan or Arabic name such as Hambali, Shihab, Assegaf.

I just knew that Wati is a sexual intercourse in Arabic, but it seems that in Indonesia the name means a woman, for example antariksawati (female astronaut). I don't know where it came from. Do you know that?
I noticed the tendency that more and more people use Western names, even my ex-housemaid gave her baby a name called Henri. There was even parents who gave their baby a name that is the same as inventors like Enrico Fermi, Thomas Alva Edison, even Albert Einstein! I think it is sooo not creative, the names are copied without modifications.

It makes me feel that Indonesian like to copycat foreign names, something I don't see in other nations like Japan, Korea, Thailand, India, etc. If you're Indonesian, why should we be shy to use the original Indonesian names? I know that for the case of some Indonesian Chinese, some of them don't really like to adopt the local people names as substitutes of their Chinese names, so they prefer Western names. When I was in Junior high school, some of my friends have unique names, such as: Maharani, Sulung, Bangkit, Buang, Gelar, Luhur, Isish (Don't know whether this is a self-made name or there is relations with Egypt god, what I know is isis in Javanese means cool).

In fact it is possible to create unique names, considering that in Indonesia it is quite free to give names, unlike in certain cultures that names of the first child must be the same as the father's, or as I heard, in Singapore the child's name that was registered may not use certain names. Westerners' names sometimes are quite unique, at least if seen from Indonesians' standard, for example like: Brown, Bush, White. An example of unique names like Kristia Monetera, Satu Cahaya Langit (one shine of the sky), or like Melly Goeslaw's child that was named "Anakku Lelaki" (My Son is a Man) and his little brother was named "Pria Bernama" (Popular Man). Also, Sitok Srengenge's (meaning: one sun) child was named "Laire Siwi Mentari" (the child of the sun that was born). There is also jokes about a person named Saklitinov, and the name Saklitinov turned out to be an acronym of Sabtu Kliwon Tiga November (The Kliwon (Javanese calendar day name) Saturday of Third November). Olala...

They say I'm Fat

They Say I'm Fat
(Kejut.com)

Kotak - masih cinta
I don't know what my fault is. I feel that these days I have been keeping my diet pretty tight. But how come this my dear cheek is still stretchy. And a lot of people who take a look at it want to pinch it. It makes me more resentful. It is resentful... resentful... resentful... Veeeery resentful. What is my fault? Weep... Weep... did the fault come from the descendant from my beloved father and mother that makes my cheek really puffed-up. I don't think so. They are not fat either.

But if I really think about it again my fate was really unfortunate.
I remembered truely when I was still small. Approximately when I was five years old; my relatives came to my house. And all of them then were so happy to see my face. Not anything and and not anywhy. They seemed like they got a new toy.
What toy? What else if not my cheek that passionated them. They pinched the left cheek, then pinched the right cheek. They were so very happy then. Laugh laugh. They did not know that the owner of this cheek felt a suffering on both the body and heart. Pain on the cheek, pain also in the heart. Until the end I cried… Huaaaaa. Only then they stopped, changed to caressing.
"Choop choop the sweet child should not cry please."

It was more serious when I was in SENIOR HIGH SCHOOL, I remember truely that I had a friend named Rudi. A child that according to my view is one of the naughtiest on the school. It is indeed generally the child was good, not smoking, obeyed the school rule and even the national ideology and national law, never skipped class even once, moderately clever and high-achieving also. Well then why how come I said that he is naughty? Yes, because of that. He liked to pinch my cheek very much. If I daydream a little I was pinched. When I was careless a little I was pinched. His pinches were consecutive and consistent. Every day. Three times a day. After eating and before sleeping (how come it looks like taking medicine?). Yeah no matter what it was really often.

I thought when I went to university, the sympathetic experiences will end. Moreover I entered to a university that was famous enough.
Ehem… ehem… I was convinced, the students were definitely very clever, well, and very devout. Ugh ugh but the reality was not as beautiful as the dream. Friends here still liked to tease that I was fat. Still were also very rascal. Fortunately there was no one that liked to pinch this cheek. Hahaha. They understand that in this matter I have given them a ban for everyone. Including close friends. They might admire me but it is not allowed to touch me. Not even pinch. Banned hard. Verboden. And suddenly…

Bam!
"Ouch..."
"Morning, Gina," Yanti greets me with his bright smile. Without any feeling of guilty or sinful.
Ouch.. ouch... a-ouch..
"Why, did I hit you very hard?"
"No question asked. Very painful you know!"
"Sorry, sorry. It is your fault anyway. Even on a morning you were daydreaming. Who were you thinking about? The Uhuy guy?"
"Oh no!!!!, very thanks to you. No meaning of Uhuy in my dictionary.."
"How come you are putting on airs."

In fact the Uhuy meant actually is Gunawan, a person that is also in the same course with them. In fact the boy is a normal boy. Very truly normal. All are normal. Normal hair, normal eyes, normal face, normal smile, the cleverness is also normal. Only one is extraordinary.... His lameness is extraordinary. Sometimes I am resentful because of him. But on one hand he can accept me the way I am. So this heart become not resentful again. I am crushed, cool and calm because of him.

In recent times the Gunawan guy is actually very close to me. I don't know why could be like that. So not-nice news are beginning to circulate in between students. Rumours and unclear gossips which I don't know where are their origin at first. Seriously. In fact it is true that I and the Gunawan guy are only normal friends. Nothing happened, or whatever it is. I swear...

In recent times the Gunawan guy is actually very close to me. I don't know why could be like that. So not-nice news are beginning to circulate in between students. Rumours and unclear gossips which I don't know where are their origin at first. Seriously. In fact it is true that I and the Gunawan guy are only normal friends. Nothing happened, or whatever it is. I swear...

I think it’s not necessarily true. Look at his behavior. He talk and behave in the same way with all his friends (girl). Sometimes, a bit naughty. Ah, damn guy. Fortunately, he doesn’t like to pinch my cheek, otherwise our good relationship which is maintained so far will be destroyed.

However, I just don't ignore. He also does the same thing to me. Sometimes, reaallyyyy care, sometimes he is ignorant. I’m confused. My friends said that he likes me. In teenagers telenovela, it is said as fall in love.

If it is true, it’s ok for me. Coz actually I also quite put a symphaty to him. He is cheerful, kind, caring. Even though he is lame. Sooo lame. But it’s ok. The most important thing, he doesn’t say I am fat, and he doesn’t pinch my cheek.

One day, Gunawan ask me to have lunch together. I am ok to his offer. Why not? I can also borrow his lecture note for yesterday lesson. I was sleeping in lecture theatre yesterday. So many think and stuff… Like a businessman you know. Hohohoho...
We sit, be quiet, and calm. Before we order the food, Gun starts to speak:
"Gin, I know your cheek is stretchy."
"Grrr, so what?"
I am angry. I think he really can understand me. But he also said I am fat. Nooo, why must there be one more person who reveal that “fact" to me?
"Many people said that stretchy cheek is not so good."
"Yeah, I am ugly," I said frownly. Sensitive.
"But…" Gun says again.
"But what?’ I say angrily. Resentful… resentful.
"Ups, are you angry? Gun asked melancholicly. Seeing his face, I melt.
"nooo… no problem? What’s wrong, Gun?" I ask relaxly.
"but… I… I want to say something to you Gin. Important," Gun said bowing down his face. Either he is shy or scary?

Deg! My heart beats very fast. And become faster and faster. Aaargh impossible. Impossible. My blood flows quicker. What’s wrong with me? Why can Gun make me like that?

He continues his statement… still with tremble…
"I…. I…"
"What?"
"Gin, could I...?"
My thought flies away. I almost forget that I go here to have lunch. Is it true that his friends gossip about Gun is true? Gun so far… without any words… Arrgh… my face turn red, but I don’t want Gun knows. That the truth… Don’t
I bow down my face. I feel that he will say that word. Ya confirmed that he will say that word...
"Gin, could I borrow your money? I don’t have anything left."


Being A stylish Moslem Teenager

Being A stylish Moslem Teenager, Why not?
(by: Nani Shofiatun,)

Ten 2 Five - I miss You
There are many things that can be discussed related with teenagers. They are very special and unique. People say that being teenagers are the most beautiful moment in our lives. Anything can happen to them. Some teenagers are having good talent and potential in a certain field. However, some of them are involved in a very bad social relationship, such as getting in touch with drugs, being pregnant without married, “Naudzhubillah”. Besides the education that they get from family and school, the most important thing is the relationship in their neighbourhood, if the relationship is not in a good order the teenagers will face difficulties in them futures.
Talking about Moslem teenagers, many of them have desire to be good Moslem ones. They also want to be stylish. Is it possible? Off course, it is.

Before going further, firstly, it would be better if we know what it meant by teenagers. Teenagers are those who are 13 – 20 years old. In these ages they have developed their appearances perfectly. Females start to be attracted with males and so do males. They want to find out new things and new idols (time o find self identification). They often being idealistic ones but their emotions are still unbalance. It will be dangerous if there is no guidance in these ages. Secondly, Moslem teenagers are those who always maintain the identity of Islam in their lives, the way they dress, talk, have social relationship, behave, and are suitable with the norms of Islam. We can say that Moslem teenagers are those who always apply their belief in their daily life by doing worship. They always want to seek “Mardhotillah”. They live as bees who always give benefit to others.

So, in my opinion, the stylish Moslem teenagers are those who have Moslems characteristics, but they are not introverted ones. They are so familiar with the technology. They have vision to make a progress in the futures.
However, we may find the phenomenon happens generally, many teenagers get negative influences. For example they are wearing Jilbab, but they are accustomed to stay in a bad manner. They are good in religion, but they are very introverted. They feel what they have done is always right. They cannot accept the other opinion.

Sometimes, we find the teenagers wearing Jilbab just for formality. They don’t care with the Jilbab that they wear. They hang around the street with their boyfriends. They are not shy to hug one another. Sometimes, they behave as if they were a couple of wife and husband. They feel proud of changing boyfriends many times. They consider it is as a great achievement that they have got.


Based on many problems above, the suggestions that can be given are:
First, it is very important to strengthen the belief foundation for those who are in the teenagers’ ages. They are made to be accustomed to do worship everyday, such as having prayer together, reading Al Qur’an and understanding the meaning, having polite behaviour, not doing the evil, helping their parents. So they will feel have strong and good characteristics.

Next, it is a must to be stylish Moslems in this era. Psychologically they want to be free to express their minds, to have many friends, to have a wide social relationship. In this case, they have to strengthen the belief in Allah, and always do worship. They also have to be curious in finding the knowledge and experience.

We can take a look at Zaskia adya mecca’s life. She is an actress. Usually the life of an actress is full of glamour. While the other actress likes to have a very sexy performance, she wears jilbab. By wearing jilbab, off course it will control her behaviour. For example she will be selective in deciding the roles that she will take. I’m sure she will reject the roles that force her to put off the jilbab. In this case, she shows her willing in doing something based on the religion she has. I can say that she is one stylish Moslems that we can find.

Finally, the stylish Moslem teenagers must have sincere principle in their lives, because the function of being stylish is to give benefit for the others and to get “ridlo” from Allah SWT.

I think that’s all that I wanted to say; hopefully it will be useful for all of us.
Amen.